Maybe I’ve been watching a little too much Special Agent Oso, but I’ve narrowed my New Year’s resolutions to three special steps in order to have a successful 2011.
Resolution # 1 - Loose the guilt and rediscover a hobby or two, and maybe even go on a date with my husband
A few months ago a friend of mine made a lot of sense when trying to convince me that it’s okay to take time out for me, but I still struggle with it. I’m not entirely sure where the guilt comes from, but it’s there, and I’m not even Catholic. My friend asked if I wanted to raise a strong, independent, well-rounded daughter. And of course I do. Then she told me that I needed to lead by example, showing my daughter that it’s good to have interests of your own. It’s how you discover or remember who you really are and how you find out who you want to be.
While I completely agree with her, I’m tortured by the thought of leaving my daughter at school longer than I have to or hiring a babysitter to watch her, and if I’m being completely honest even leaving her with my husband for an extended period of time. I know, I know, it’s borderline crazy. I’m not sure why I have such strong feelings. She goes to an excellent school that she loves, and her teachers are fantastic. We don’t live near family for them to babysit, but we’ve had offers. I honestly appreciate them, but know I’ll most likely never accept. We recently scheduled a babysitter, a great young lady we know from Ellie’s school who’s great and perfectly capable. And Ellie knows and likes her, which is a big plus. But my husband’s unexpected sickness that day forced us to cancel, and I was secretly relieved. I do plan to reschedule with this young lady; I’m just not sure when. As for leaving her with my husband, I’m not sure where that comes from. He’s incredible, and we truly are a parenting dynamic duo. I think I’m afraid I’ll miss something, so I try to schedule any errand I’m running without her during naptime. I don’t know what it is, but I do know I must work on it. Admitting your challenges is the first step, right?
Resolution # 2 – Shed some pounds and become a healthier momma
I’m such the cliché. I have a two-year-old, and I’m still carrying around baby pounds and then some. UGH! I kept telling myself that the pounds would go. I’m not sure what fantasy I lived in because when you aren’t a member of a gym, hit snooze when you’d planned to exercise early and eat more than you should, the pounds are not going to mysteriously melt away. Unfortunately. No matter how much you will them to.
I’ve secretly had thoughts that maybe I was just destined to be a fatter version of my previous self. It’s about 30 pounds, give or take. (I haven’t been on the scale lately so I don’t know the exact number. I don’t need even more guilt.) What I do know is that there’s no magic miracle other than moving more and eating less. Sounds easy enough, but damn is it ever difficult.
In order to accomplish this goal, my husband and I gave each other an elliptical for Christmas. It’s currently still in the box, but there are plans to get that baby up and running. Soon. For real.
Resolution # 3 – Develop and nurture some friendships
Is it just me or was it much easier to have friends before you were married? When you’re in a relationship you have to deal with couple friends, and that’s a whole new ballgame. Let’s be honest, it’s difficult to find four people who genuinely like each other and want to spend time together. Add a child to the mix, and whoa, people tend to drop like flies. I know because I spent years doing the dropping before I had a child of my own. It’s not intentional; it just happens. There’s just less in common. I can remember how annoyed I’d get listening to new parents go on and on about their kid(s), and then I became the irritating parent. I don’t talk about my daughter incessantly on purpose; again, it just happens.
This year, my husband and I are going to make an effort to develop some friendships. We’re going to open ourselves up to find people with similar interests and then work to build those friendships. Maybe that means reconnecting with old friends, maybe it means looking for new ones, or both. Either way we’re going to give it a go for 2011.
Cheers to the New Year! Bring it on!